JennyJen

“I can’t believe I am even considering this, but I would hate for this snow-cock to go to waste."

I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say "been there". Amirite?

It should come as no surprise that the massive cock o' snow so did not go to waste. Girlfriend handled her bidness.

Though I've only just embarked upon my monster/bizarro porn journey, I'm noticing a trend. There's always human sex before the monster sex. I don't know if this will always be true, but it's annoying, so far. If I wanted to read about a regular, warm, unscaled, giant penis, I'd pick up romance/erotica like all the other humans do. I read this stuff because I want the snowman D. Or the T-Rex sack. You get my drift.

Ix-nay on all the uman-hay D.

The writing was fuckin awful. I mean, there's just no other way to say it. I'm okay with the monster porn, but make it good monster porn. You know what I'm sayin? Thankfully, it wasn't hard to read through, because it's mercifully short. The writing, the characters, the plot - all cringeworthy, but I will say that this was definitely entertaining. Cases in point:

There was still no definite reaction from my snow lover, but I knew I was not imagining his interest. I was not imagining the stick hands on the back of my head.

The snowman said nothing; he just continued to accept my energetic lovemaking.

The Eskimos may have a hundred words for snow, but at that moment, I only had two: Fuck. Yeah.

Let's face it. It's all snowman porn gold.

Before picking this up, I had wondered about the logistics, but, in hindsight, I should have left those cares at the door. This is snowman porn, so fuck logic. All you need to know is that the cock o' snow is huge. Oh, and "murder" happens. There’s also a douchebag with a huge human cock (if you're into that sort of sick shit..)

Most importantly, though, and what you're all salivating to know:

Fuck yeah, there’s a money shot.

Unless I just imagined it.