The Viper - Monica McCarty Disclaimer: I hadn't read a historical romance since I was a teenager. A TEENAGER. •_• (I'm 34.)Lately, I've been wondering if I should try one again. Thankfully, I have this wonderful little friend named Dija, who reads HR's. She insisted I read this book. It was planned as a group read, but of course, the rest of the "group" Alky and Anzu dropped it and I ended up taking one for the team. I read 40% before my brain shut down. I can read no more.I wanted to divulge this info before I talk about why I hated this book, because if you read HR's, you may very well love this book. Just keep in mind that this is a review of an HR from someone who doesn't like romance books. K.So, I give up. I tried. Lawd knows I tried.The Viper is a cheesefest. I'm just not idealistic enough to buy into the bullshit whirlwind, lusty romance crap. The whole, "My body flushed and I just knew that he had entered the room and was standing behind me" is nauseating. This was shortly after meeting him. She barely knew him, but her BODY can predict when he's entered the room. If the MC's are in a dangerous situation where they need to escape, the hero shouldn't be pausing to notice the heroines lips to think about how he'd love to see them wrapped around his cock. Or him thinking, "I realized that she had touched me for the first time and I felt a jolt of electricity". This is a WARRIOR on a RESCUE MISSION meeting some chick for the first time and his warrior mind is more focused on his "feels" than on the task at hand just because she lightly touched his arm? You're a SHITTY warrior. You're supposed to be escaping! It's just too much. Makes me see the hero as weak. Too weak to resist sexual urges. I don't respect a man or woman completely ruled by sexual urges - not in my books or in real life. Have some self-control.I could have gotten into the plot, if the MC's would've stopped lusting after each other for a frikkin second. They were in lust at first glance, practically. I can understand acknowledging an attraction right from the start, because they're human and you can see a hot person and be like "wowsers, they're hot!" But the constant "jolts of electricity" and the constant referring to her heavy breasts and her CONSTANT flushing and his constant arousal were all just too much. Most of what I read was about their unexplainable lust for each other, despite being in dire situations. The plot was only thrown in there as background noise.I'm told that it gets better plot-wise, but I don't have the patience to wade through half a book, just to finally see some progression in the plot. I hate any book where the romance takes over, regardless of genre. My type of romance is the slower, get to know you, it's-not-that-easy type. This type of book was okay for me as a teen, but I'm too realistic (and bitter) to find this type of romance hot or appealing in any way.Despite having hated it, I'm glad I at least tried it, because now I know that it's not for me and I'll never have to wonder again. That chapter of my reading life is definitely over. For more of my reviews, visit my blog: