Rot and Ruin - Jonathan Maberry AND YOU CALL YOURSELF A ZOMBIE BOOK?HOLY DUMB SHIT, BATMAN. For the record, I read half of this book. Zombies appeared twice. Two times. Two measly times for maybe one boring, emotionless minute each of those times. I mean, seriously, can I get one Zombie Happy Meal in half a damn zombie book?What am I saying? I'm blaspheming on behalf of zombie lovers everywhere. This isn't a zombie book, so much as it's a tale of two boring-ass brothers, one of which is an annoying, vapid, fucktwat with no common sense. This is supposed to be the story of his journey to manhood, but it was a flat, wordy pretentious mess. Pretentious, because the older brother just talked and talked and talked and talked and (I shit you not) talked some more. Chapters would go by and this dude would be telling zombie tales to his baby bro. Back-to-back-without-pause boring-ass zombie tales! For, like, a chapter or two at a time. We'd hear all this fucking nonsense about how meaningful all the zombie shit was, but that's all it was - TALES. Long, drawn out, pretentious tales. And they weren't meaningful. The dude would say they were and he'd have "thoughtful" and "meaningful" pauses, but it was just a bunch of long, boring tales. FML. HARD.I might come back to this review to spew some more, but right now, I need a frikkin nap. Suffice to say that if you can't excite a zombie lover once in 50% of a zombie frikkin' novel, then maybe you shouldn't be writing zombie frikkin' novels OR the cover should have two teens holding hands or some other dumb shit like that.Did I mention the MC catches a case of obsessive insta-like from a picture? Other reviews say that the latter half of the book revolves around this insta-like/love. Thankfully, I jumped ship just in time to avoid it. I'd rather be eaten by zombies. -_-This cover: [bc:Rot & Ruin|7157310|Rot and Ruin (Benny Imura, #1)|Jonathan Maberry|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1264898635s/7157310.jpg|7443037] is trickery.For more of my reviews, check out my blog: